Monday, June 13, 2011

I was doing so good

I was, I really was. Life caught up. I got busy. Non stop. and I feel like I failed myself.

I went to the doctor to get my cholesterol checked, since it had been a year since I checked it last... well, my results were no good. I really wish I could be back home and see the doctors I had seen for years, since they know my family and my family history. But I am not, so I am here stuck with what I get.

This past winter I was dealing with what I now know is Allergies. Alright problem solved. Next, I went with my heart burn issues, which result in probably because I am overweight. Well. yes. I know. I am no longer 140lbs like I was in high school. Nope, I did not participate in normal sports that I can continue as an adult. But yes, the little pill you gave me doc seems to work.

But still cholesterol is not solved. So what is next? Well, I guess I am going to go see a Nutritionist now. I thought I was eating right. Low salt. Snacks consist of almonds. Eating more yogurt, oatmeal, what not. trying not to eat eggs everyday. But the big one. She says I should stop drinking alcohol. I know its not the best for me. But I love a glass of wine. I really do. We are members at wineries, and I have enough wine to keep me happy for months. I am not going to give up things I love. Like chocolate.

Where is that balance. That happy balance. I grew up eating red meat and potatoes. Favorite food, prime rib. I remember when I could eat whatever I wanted and not gain a pound. Now here I am at 26... almost 27, and not able to eat one thing I love because its not good for me. What would I rather be, healthy or happy?

How did I even get this way? Oh wait, I know stress. A stressful job. Losing weight is a life transformation, but its hard for me to go at it alone. But I have no one here that was in my shoes, and is in my shoes now. I am here for maybe six more months, and then home I go. Then for me to start it all over again.

I am just venting, so for my few followers on here, I am sorry. There is no one home right now to talk to. Its late, and I just don't think my husband understands (and the fact he is gone right now doesn't help). I am leaving for vacation in a month from yesterday. But I am going to be in Europe. And there is NO WAY, I am going to pass up European food and DRINKS!!

I am so scatterbrained. Maybe, I should just go to bed. Oh, what a day.